Thunder Roads Joker Wild

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for

dinner.

Both he and his wife decide that they won’t tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.

The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue.

Well, he said, ‘It’s what mommy calls me sometimes’.

The little girl screams to her brother,

‘Don’t eat it, it’s an ass***e.

An 80-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, “Bill, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?” Bill replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! the light goes on. When I’m done, poof! the light goes off. “Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says. A little later in the day, the doctor calls Bill’s wife. “Ethel,” he says “Bill is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof! the light goes off?” “Oh my God!” Ethel exclaims. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Ralph out.

When the Head Nurse became aware of Edna’s heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, “Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged; since you were able to

rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays soundmindedness. The bad news is, Ralph, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he’s dead.”

Edna replied “He didn’t hang himself. I put him there to dry. So, how soon can I go home?”

Bocefus goes into the drug store and says to the pharmacist, “I got me really hot date tonight, an’ I need me some pertection. How much is a pack a’ dem there rubbers a’ gonna cost me?” The pharmacist responds, “A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax.” “TACKS!” Bocefus shouts. “Good Gawd a’mighty, fer dat’ price, don’t the dang things stay on by themselves?

Jim walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he’s drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them.

The monkey then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone’s amazement, somehow swallows it whole.

The bartender yells at Jim, “Did you see what your monkey just did?” Jim says, “No, What?”

“He just ate the cue ball off my pool table whole!”

“Yeah, That doesn’t surprise me,” replied Jim. “He eats everything in sight; the little pig.

Sorry; I’ll pay for the cue ball and stuff.” He finishes his drink, pays his bill and for the stuff the monkey ate, and leaves.

Two weeks later he’s in the bar again and he has the monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.

While Jim is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.

Then the monkey finds a peanut and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey did now?” “No, what?” replies Jim.

“Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!”

“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied Jim. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first.”

A recent study found the average American walks about 900 miles year.

Another study found Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of beer a year.

That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon.

Makes me proud to be American, How ‘bout you?

The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF) These boys will be dropped off in Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists : 1. The season opened today. 2. There is no limit or license. 3. They taste just like chicken. 4. They don’t like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus. 5. They are directly responsible for the demise of Dale Earnhardt and quite possibly Johnny Cash. The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by next Friday.

WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?

You need a rough draft before you make a final copy.

WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?

Because their balls fall over their butt-holes and they vapor lock.


THUNDER ROADS® MAGAZINE THE NATION'S LARGEST FREE Motorcycle Magazine!
Home	Welcome to the Joker's Wild...a featured item monthly in all Thunder Roads Magazines. This page is intended for viewing by adults and may contain adult content. No offense but we’re Bikers! A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won’t tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue. Well, he said, ‘It’s what mommy calls me sometimes’. The little girl screams to her brother, ‘Don’t eat it, it’s an ass***e. An 80-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, “Bill, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?” Bill replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! the light goes on. When I’m done, poof! the light goes off. “Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says. A little later in the day, the doctor calls Bill’s wife. “Ethel,” he says “Bill is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof! the light goes off?” “Oh my God!” Ethel exclaims. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!” Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Ralph out. When the Head Nurse became aware of Edna’s heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said, “Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays soundmindedness. The bad news is, Ralph, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he’s dead.” Edna replied “He didn’t hang himself. I put him there to dry. So, how soon can I go home?” Bocefus goes into the drug store and says to the pharmacist, “I got me really hot date tonight, an’ I need me some pertection. How much is a pack a’ dem there rubbers a’ gonna cost me?” The pharmacist responds, “A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax.” “TACKS!” Bocefus shouts. “Good Gawd a’mighty, fer dat’ price, don’t the dang things stay on by themselves? Jim walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he’s drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them. The monkey then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone’s amazement, somehow swallows it whole. The bartender yells at Jim, “Did you see what your monkey just did?” Jim says, “No, What?” “He just ate the cue ball off my pool table whole!” “Yeah, That doesn’t surprise me,” replied Jim. “He eats everything in sight; the little pig. Sorry; I’ll pay for the cue ball and stuff.” He finishes his drink, pays his bill and for the stuff the monkey ate, and leaves. Two weeks later he’s in the bar again and he has the monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While Jim is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey did now?” “No, what?” replies Jim. “Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!” “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied Jim. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first.” A recent study found the average American walks about 900 miles year. Another study found Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of beer a year. That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon. Makes me proud to be American, How ‘bout you? The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF) These boys will be dropped off in Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists : 1. The season opened today. 2. There is no limit or license. 3. They taste just like chicken. 4. They don’t like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus. 5. They are directly responsible for the demise of Dale Earnhardt and quite possibly Johnny Cash. The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by next Friday. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? You need a rough draft before you make a final copy. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? Because their balls fall over their butt-holes and they vapor lock.